Friday, 30 January 2009


And now I remembered that THIS IS WHY I SMOKED.

WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE. Well that's not fair. I had my own stupid reasons for smoking. But the incessant WHINING DID NOT HELP. And now with no smoking to save me I just want to take off down the street yanking my hair out. EVERYthing is an emergency and requires screaming and WHINING. We play, but it invariably turns to VERY rough rough-housing (which is not ok), or repeating one simple thing beyond my 5 minute limit.

Mom, I love you, but I hate that bloody batmobile. He doesn't even watch it go! He plops it in my lap and runs away. Like, to the other end of the house. But if I don't set it off he just pushes it further into my lap, my face, WHINES. AGH. And he absolutely refuses to shake it himself.

Kill me now.
We've tried snuggling on the couch, he just wants to play rough and turn into the rubber baby. Save me. X_X

Tuesday, 20 January 2009


We had a nice, chill day today. Watching shows/movies, playing with our boy, and just being together. We headed for a local park that leads right down to the bay. We played on the playground first, it's so funny because even though the floors of the equipment are not see through, Ray is soooooooooo careful up there and will stay on all fours until he's at the top or has a hold on one of us. After that we walked down to the bay. As we walked the wooden boardwalk to the stand Ray kept looking down and stopping every step or two, we assume since he could see a wee bit through the slats. Amazing that he's so careful out there, when at home he is BEYOND fearless!

The tide was out, leaving mud and clay filled with sand crab holes and huge shallow puddles. We trekked through the goop to the edge of the bay. (Keep in mind it was nearly 80f here today and yesterday as well) Ray was deadset on the water, so after rolling up my pants and stripping my shoes, I followed him in and took off his pants and shoes so he could play in the water a bit. It was chilly and windy, but it being a bay the water was very calm and shallow. He was happy to splash around a bit until he finally lost his balance and plopped on his butt. THEN he was displeased with the cold, being soaked to his chest! We stripped him quick, and I had DH donate his shirt (which he whined about, but I pointed out I couldn't exactly donate MINE) and we trekked back to the car with Ray in his daddy nightgown.

You know, that kinda bothers me. There's nothing WRONG with boobies. They're not even originally meant to be sexual. They're no different from what men have, just larger. He can take off his shirt anywhere out doors. I take mine off and I can be arrested. That irks me a bit.

So anyway, back to the nightly Raycapades. Anthony and I were in here diddling around on our seperate computers, with the TV on in the next room. After a few minutes I had that "it's quiet...TOO QUIET" realization. We found Ray sitting on the couch with a half eaten banana. Yes, he'd pulled the bunch off the counter, detached one banana (the stem stayed attached to the rest, thankfully giving him an opening without excess mooshing) and was peeling the damn thing THE RIGHT WAY. Keep in mind we haven't had bananas in our house for months, and he's only seen two or three peeled and eaten in the last few days. He was good, didn't eat the peel, and once he finished he set the empty peel onto the bookcase next to the couch, just like we would mid-show. We were just plain in shock, lol.

So overall, a good day. :)

Saturday, 17 January 2009

At last!

What gamers have been trying to tell worried parents and potential censorship supporters all along, violent video games =/ violent children or adults. Thank you, and good night. (PS I was excited to see the makers of Unreal Tournament and Half-Life games participating. Two of my favoritest game series ever and also rather bloody but soooooooooooo fun.)

Friday, 16 January 2009

Four Years Running

January 16th, 2005! Anthony Lee and Nastassja Merina! Omg look at all our hair! XD

A few months later. (Not an anniversary photo, so sue me!)

For our first anniversary we went to Barcelona for a few days. Sadly we seem to have no pics of us together, so here's one from a few weeks before that with our ghetto hanukkah.

January 16, 2007, and pregnant with my little man! We took a trip to Cordoba, which was very cool. :)

Last year, again we seem to have no anniversary pic (and honestly I can't remember what we did. Oops.) but this is January 25th, 2008!

Thinking Anthony would be gone during our anniversary (and, well, he is) we didn't plan anything this year. Having no money helps with that too. But yesterday he showed up early from work (wasn't supposed to be home at all!) bearing steak and a glass of flowers. :) It was very sweet! Four years and counting, January 16, 2009! (Again no anniversary pic, but this was two weeks ago up at the farm!)

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

*froths at the mouth*

Hooray for more shitty kids fantasy movies taking a crap on my genre of choice. Because anything with magic must be aimed at kids!

And I'm not against kids fantasy but honestly do we have to talk DOWN to them like they're mentally disabled? This is what I LOVED about Harry Potter. It was clean, aimed at kids, but it didn't treat them like brainless zombies unable to follow a plot line. And I'm sure there are quite a few young adult series that are similar (don't get me started on Twilight) but get the equivalent of a lobotomy when put into movie form.

While we're ranting about things aimed at kids, wtf is up with Kidz Bop? That shit has been around since I was a child, and even then I found the entire thing insufferable. Especially in the days of iTunes and "clean" Walmart cuts of albums there's just no reason for it. I don't want to hear a bunch of yutzes with no nutses or menses (well, it almost worked) shrieking away top 40 hits. And some of the SONGS! Now, I know they're edited to be kid friendly but whyyyyyyyy. Can we not just make music that's kid friendly that doesn't have to be mindless nattering about friendship or colors...and sung by adults? Don't get me wrong, I will LOVE listening to my son sing, and a well-done children's choir can be AMAZING. But having little Cindy singing it with SOUL makes my head explode. OW. STOP IT.

*huff* Does anyone buy those atrocious CD's? I guess someone must or they wouldn't be on edition 389423. As I said, even as a kid they had no pull for me. And if I had been listening to those songs on the radio I wouldn't want some bad knock-off sung by a 13 year old boy that has no clue what the words entail.

Tuesday, 13 January 2009


I actually clicked in time to get a COOL ONE OMFG

Adopt one today!

And looky, I finally got two of my dragons to breed and make an egg!

Adopt one today!ANDAdopt one today!MAKE Adopt one today!

Also: Adopt one today! remains awesome and I've got Adopt one today! and Adopt one today! should be growing up any day now. Wee!

Guess what?

My family could kick your families ass. Any day, any time.

We remain, delightfully odd. :)

Festivus, for the Rest of Us!

ETA: My mother would have me point out that all participants live south of the mason dixon and thusly are inherently bigger wusses about cold than northerners. Take THAT, yanks!

Monday, 12 January 2009

Adorable as ever

We were watching Phantom of the Opera today before Ray's nap. He very much enjoyed the music, and after Christine performs "Think of Me" and the audience is applauding, Ray clapped his hands and gave her an enthusiastic, "Good job!!". We about died. XD That's mah boy!

He was just on FIRE today. Everything he did was with extreme enthusiasm. From jumping around on our bed (and nearly falling off, giving me heart attacks as I watched from my perch on the toilet) to playing with his "whack the ball through the hole" toys. He ended up receiving a big plastic one hand-me-down from a friend, and a wooden one from my parents. I thought we'd end up giving one away but he LOVES them both. We also played alot with his shake-n-go batmobile. He tossed the kitchen rugs all over as I cooked dinner and has been eating us out of house and home. At first I thought he was just bored and enjoyed snacking, but found with a little experimenting that he was just plain HUNGRY. So he had numerous breakfasts and lunches. He's been sleeping good and heavy at night (knock on wood) so I think we're in the midst of a major growth spurt.

He's also been very helpful. He helped me put groceries in the fridge, and after pulling some trash off the counter he helped me throw it in the trash can. I think he's been saying "pretty" (pee-ee) and "baby" (bee). Just going by what he says and points at and words that I use with him frequently. (We have a picture of his cousin Sorina at easter on the fridge, christmas family pictures of my Aunt Sara's family and the neighbors, and an old black and white of my mom holding a baby me. We look at "the babies" alot together!)

So he's been a handful but he's more fun every day. He's also starting to really like the TV, something that I'm trying to cut us back on again. If it's off for a little while he either turns it on himself or brings me the remote. >.> Oops. He doesn't seem to care much what's on, I think he just likes watching and listening to the people and the music. Which I can't fault him for, but I would like less of it.

Oh! His other big word now is "Oh WOWWWWW". He was paging through one of his books earlier (he really likes the color one you read to him at the farm, mama. Can't remember if it was from you or not) and saying "Oh WOWWWW!" very passionately. XD He also loves to play with any utensils and dishware we leave laying around in his reach, and "feeds" himself. If only he did so well when he's actually up in the high chair, alone with his spoon and cup of applesauce!

Speaking of, those are some more words. He says "get up" and "get down", more phrases we use frequently. The other day after finishing his applesauce he called to me, "get down way!" (ray). So I of course obliged him. :)

So that's my baby update! Nothing much else going on of note. I've kicked my WoW habit for the time being. Anthony just started playing a little again tonight but he's not been very motivated either.

Saturday, 10 January 2009

Gee whiz

When the hell will people ever get it?

Homeschoolers are not friendless, socially crippled losers incapable of talking to people outside their circle of friends or acting appropriately depending on their situation.

A tidbit for thought:

Let's say you want to learn how to ball-room dance. It's a VERY important skill in your society, and without it life would be exceedingly difficult. So you decide you need to learn it, and go to a school for it. Everyone swears that the best way to learn to ballroom dance is to go hang out all day in a room filled with people that also haven't the first clue about ballroom dancing. Then, as years pass people will bitch incessantly about how much you suck at ballroom dancing, and yet perpetuate the system and claim that learning to do it from a small group of people that ballroom dance expertly is just ludicrous and silly.


*beats her head on the desk*

Seriously?! Does anyone think about what they say and do AT ALL?

****This post has been brought to you by Coca-Cola, Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, and Idiots. Mostly idiots.

Wee dawgie!

Well Anthony returned home with good news today, our orders with a space left for us to write in our move date. YUS. Then I got to talk to the housing lady and found out we'll be moving into a really nice place, forfeiting our BAH (about $2100 before taxes) but in exchange a nice big place and no rent or utility bills to be paid. That, my friends, is sweet, blessed, FREEDOM. And they really are nice places, townhouses with large garages in each unit, and 2-3 bedrooms running about 1600 sqft. So less rooms but more SPACE. This heap has three bedrooms but we can't even fit our bedroom set in the "master" bedroom, aka the big closet with the bed in it. All we have to do is call them up 4 wks ahead of time and they'll give us our new address right then, ready for move in. SUWHEET DOODS.

So that's my good news for the day. Anyone else have some good stuff to share?

Thursday, 8 January 2009

Oh mah goodness. D:

I has a blog award. I'm not entirely sure for what, but somebody likes what I write and so I'll just assume it's for how fucking awesome I am. XD


The Lemonade Stand of Awesomery Blogging Award!

*flex* *pose* *coca-cola grin*


And in turn I hereby award Refuse to be a Womb Pod, The Hathor Legacy, and Navelgazing Midwife. I don't think any read my stuff, but I highly suggest them all! And many more that I need to add to my links over there!

It's about that time now

Was reading a bit of my HypnoBirthing book today. (My neighbor is awesome by the way, I was talking to her today and she mentioned using Hypnobabies for her last baby, never bats an eye when I talk about homebirth. It's great to know people who don't think I'm nuts lol) It was talking about releasing your fears in order to be able to relax completely when it's birth time. I realized I have a LOT of anxiety, fears and worries that I need to get out from under.

So first I'm going to list those specific fears, then I'm going to list what I know logically will help keep those fears from becoming reality. After that a little questionnaire I've been putting off for months that's meant to help you process your birth.

1. I'm afraid I won't go into labor on my own. (More fears come with that, fear of an AROM induction, in the hospital, history repeating.)

Answer - I'm pretty sure I was picking up on Anthony's anxiety about me going into labor heavily. He knows things will turn out okay, but he worries immensely. Having him go up to a friends house may help. Also, when talking to my best friend, even just online, my contractions got noticeably stronger. Every time. She'll be living nearby and coming down for the birth. Combination of him gone and her close should have me shooting that kid out at light speed. LOL. If we for some reason end up in the hospital my midwife will be my doula so I won't get pushed around nearly as much.

2. I'm afraid the baby will be as big or bigger than last time, which scares me because I don't think the size is the problem, so much as how much space I have in my torso and whether or not being that cramped contributed to Rays head being tilted.

I read on my midwife's blog things to cut out of your diet to help not grow them huge. Mostly no dairy so no growth hormones. I ate alot of that with Ray trying to get easy protein and calcium.

Alrighty. And now the questions:

When you think about your previous birth, what is your favorite moment?

Right before the epidural, when my mom calmed me down by pressing her forehead to mine and getting me to focus.

What moment do you try not to think about, or what moment still bothers you?

When they broke my water I had progressed, just a little, on my own without the pit. To that point pitocin had done NOTHING for me. Not a single cm. After they broke it, instead of walking around a bit as I'd hoped to do beforehand I was just hooked right back up to the pit, even more than before. I think the contractions were so terrible and endless because soon after I started contracting on my own and the pit just made it crazy. Why the pit would magically work post water breaking is a little far-fetched to me.

What was your most brilliant moment?

Caught between tearing off the hospital gown right after the doctor carefully re-tied it, and enduring four hours of good, strong pushing even on so little sleep.

Who or what helped you most when you gave birth?

My mama and Anthony. They were great.

What was your first thought when you saw your baby?

This bugs me. I scarcely remember the first eyeful I got. It was SO fast, they just held him over the curtain for what seemed like a millisecond. What I do remember is he was wet, purple-red and LOUD. Add big to that. When they first brought him over he was all bundled up and I just thought he was beautiful and perfect. The love was instant. The hour alone in recovery couldn't go faster.

If your baby could speak, what's the first thing it would thank you for?

For giving as much as I did, enduring as much, in less than optimal circumstances.

How did the journey of birth change you?

It made me very sensitive to the stories of others, overly-critical and inwardly judgemental. I think I'm finally moving past this however and it's given me a deeper understanding of how very unique each birth is to each woman and only she herself can weigh-in on the quality or difficulty of it.

What do you now know about yourself that you didn't know before?

I'm pretty darn self-less for my babies. :)

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Reader Appreciation Day!

I declare today Reader Appreciation Day, codename RAD for all you awesome, nameless readers. I know I have one consistent commenter (love you mama!) and I'm really curious about those that I don't know but are reading anyway. Anonymous or no, I ask you to comment just this once, even just to say "Hi" because I'm really curious about feeding my ego meeting you lovely folks. In tracking views/clicks on my silly dragon eggs I know that between here and my mirror LiveJournal blog I have more friends viewing my posts than I know.

Plus that will also prevent me from speaking poorly of you in the future. LOL.

Go on, it's a free for all today! Be adventurous in the new year! Give me a shout!


Well I guess I had that coming. *shakes fist at karma* But I think it was kind of the wakeup call I needed to see just how very poisonous these kinds of thoughts are.

I was having a silly back and forth with my sister in law today (the one with the new adorable little guy) about who had the cuter kid. Was quite playful but on the snarky side, normal for us. She mentioned me having a ten lb monster and I retorted about her shrimpy little thing (he's still probably not ten lbs at two weeks). Then she said "At least I was able to push him out" and I think the wind went out of my. I called uncle, and said "ouch, below the belt" and she immediately apologized, saying that was mean. I know it happens, and I know she didn't mean anything by it. No hard feelings there, but owowowowow, was it ever a sock to the gut.

I didn't post it but I meant to recently, as I'd been thinking of how very unique each birth is. As unique as each life that is being given, and the one giving it. It has sort of it's own life span, ups and downs, and different effects on those around (experiencing) it. Just as we cannot judge the quality and happiness in someone else's life based on our own experience, we cannot put labels on others births. We can laugh with them, cry with them, hug them in joy or comfort, but it is not our place to call into question their feelings about it. I discovered last night I was actually able to sympathize with my other sister in laws difficult birth experience, without a hint of jealousy, and truly empathize with her. It was a wonderful feeling after so long.

So I've realized that in spite of my best attempts at hiding the poisonous thoughts, they did bubble to the surface and my sister in law, on some level picked up on them. Or has similar thoughts herself, who had it rougher and who did better and blah blah blah. It's not a pretty thing on either end and for me at least, it MUST stop, and it is, right now.

I've seen how truly ugly (and again Bird, should you be reading this no hard feelings, I really brought it on myself and obviously needed the kick in the rear) the Mommy Competition is and I'm not taking part anymore. Inside or out.

If I'm ever going to feel good about any future birth, my own especially but others as well, I must quiet this demon and move on.

I guess you could call this some sort of new years thing but it's merely coincidence, I've needed this change in attitude for a long time. If anyone wants to contribute a little, I'm intensely interested in this book after reading an excerpt online. I've found it super cheap Used on Borders Marketplace for like $4.00, we just haven't a cent to spare right now. I would be eternally grateful should a copy find itself headed my way. :)

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Home again!

NEVER AGAIN. The trip, on the whole, was fantastic. We had a fabulous time with my parents and Brandon (little brothers friend) and relaxing at the farm, playing in the snow, and so on. We really had a good time.

Ray burned his hands on the wood stove (the "HOT!" warning finally hit home) and the poor little dude ended up with some pretty big blisters. He was calmed down and ok after a few hours but it was rough on him. I feel bad but obviously he had to learn HOT the hard way. Obviously I would never stick his hand on something hot to teach it, that's just meeeeessed up. But he did learn it, that wood stove got some dirty looks afterwards!

We all came down with the Ass Plague (minus Anthony and my dad, of course!). Brandon started it the day before we arrived, then four days later (after Ray got burned) Ray got it, puked once and then had a few days of diarrhea. The puke was nasty but not traumatic, more like a huge spit up on his radar. My true mettle as a mother was tested, as I was plunged into the refining fires of being puked on, and I came out whole and calm, never even gagged or got more than mildly grossed out. LOL.

Next day Ray was feeling better so we went to see Anthony's parents (GAH) and JD and Bird, and her new Baby Bird. (JD being the youngest brother, he's just started college.) Little dude was sooooo cute and slept and ate the whole time. I was feeling nauseous (presumably from the alcohol I'd consumed the night before) and I threw up right before we left, hoping that would be the end of it we took of. Ooooooh but it wasn't. We stopped about 10 times on the side of the snowy highway (turning a two hour trip into over three hours) so I could drain myself from both ends simultaneously. That was hell. The sheer misery of the whole ordeal had me questioning my homebirth desires, LOL. Which is silly I know, but those were my thoughts at the time.

Got back to the farm to find my brother stricken with the same malady, and later that night my mom had a mild bout as well. This really threw off our travel plans for DC the following day, and we spent an extra day at the farm. Rather than infect everyone we met in DC (and given the extra day in our itenerary) Anthony and I turned for home and sadly missed seeing family and dear friends down there. :( Still kind of disappointed but with Anthony due at work Wednesday morning and the Ass Plague being so highly contagious it was a gift best never given to those down south. Did I mention Anthony's little bro got it? Poor guy had to go to the ER twice, first for dehydration and then again when he had a dystonic reaction (muscle spasming, his tongue went nuts) to the meds they gave him the first time. Bird and Baby Bird had a minor episode, thankfully no puking for them and it was very short. Can't help but think Baby Bird was protected by the Almighty Boob!

We opted to stop for the night on our way home rather than push through the night (30 hours of driving) as we did on our way up. It was muuuuch better to stop, but still a very long difficult trip and one that's committed us to just saving up for airfare next time, especially given our upcoming move to San Diego.

Speaking of, we should have more news on that once Anthony returns to work Weds. Yay! Hopefully they'll have us approved so we can get on the housing waiting list and schedule our move. Should be interesting, and I can't wait to be settled in off-base housing out there. Our finances are so beyond strained right now (as in, we're NOT making it but we have wonderful support from those recently blessed with extra funds, hugs!) and it will be fantastic to be out from under rent/utility bills, and get one car paid off with the tax return. One year to pay off a $15k car ain't half bad if you ask me. My car payment is considerably lower so we should have no trouble keeping up with that another year.

Now we just huddle down until the water heater is fixed wednesday, I cannot WAIT to have hot water again and SHOWER. Sheesh. And moving to San Diego and escaping the wench land lady will be glorious. GLORIOUS I SAY.

And now, egg spam! See what happened to some of the last ones? Sadly my first two perished while we were away (hatched the day we left) and the other two lived and reached maturity today. Wee! More eggies on the way! FUN!

Adopt one today!
Adopt one today!
Adopt one today!
Adopt one today!
Adopt one today!