Friday, 14 November 2008

Tired of the fight

I'm really, really tired of our raid leader in WoW. For those of you that don't play, keep reading because this actually has nothing to do with the game.

He's a 27 year old virgin (which on it's own is all fine and cool. The guy has standards, whatevs) that still lives with his parents and is absolutely convinced women are evil, lying psychopaths. Oh, he's plenty intelligent, just got his masters, and has interesting things to say on many subjects.

Until you start talking about women. And the guy obviously has no clue what he's talking about, but his fantasy world of wicked conniving women is gospel truth, dontcha know. He tried to dominate me, yet again, today. It's not the first time.

It usually goes through some version of this:

Him: Mysoginistic remark, sometimes thinly veiled by attempting to be humorous.
Him: Tries to validate his point.
Me: Completely owns him in the face, quietly showing the misogyny in his statement without really calling him out.
Him: Long silence, followed by some form of "Well I was just trying to be funny" aka, "What you said doesn't really matter, I have control here and now don't you sound silly for OVERREACTING TO A JOKE!"

Today I called him on the last part, saying "Oh that's cute, now you're just trying to make it out as a joke to invalidate my point. Nice try."

Another guild member pointed out I was doing that woman thing where I was going to win either way. Not really sure how to take that, but deciding to shelf it for now.

I understand that the jokes are just going to be part of playing a very male dominated game as a known vagina-bearer. There's tons of sexist humor, and even being something of a feminist I can laugh because I know most of the guys are just poking fun, and have wives or girlfriends that are treated well.

But raid leader...ugh. It bothers me even more because the other folks in the guild will only say something to him if it's a complete bullshit statement, like very very obvious. Today somebody started out with the "female orgasm is a myth" thing. (What does that even mean, really?) I pointed out my confusion, and how any man saying that that had ever had sex with a woman was insulting himself mostly, as it meant he might be bad in bed. Raid leader started in with some Seinfield reference and women doing it to further their ambitions.

I said (in so many words) that it was in the best interest of both parties to ask once in a while if there was any way they could improve or if their current actions were really "doing it" for the other person. I said that this was the super secret to good sex, actually caring about the other persons pleasure and that it was easy enough to avoid a woman "faking it" by asking if you could do something different/better. Raid-leader was markedly silent during this, and then said that he was just trying to make a joke and point out the seinfield reference. (Again, trying to get back on top by making me out to be the "crazy overreacting bitch") That's when I tossed out the "Oh that's cute, you were just trying to make a funny so my point would be invalid". That shut him up for a while. XD I love owning him in the face, but it's really bugging me that I have to keep dealing with his shit, and Anthony and I are usually the only ones to really stand up to his childish behavior like that.



bubbeedee said...

wow, nothing changes. These stupid guys are still out there. Get a life baby boys..... too bad you can only feel good when you put others down. Keep trying - my little girl will kick your ass every time....

Stassja said...

He tried it again tonight (a friend confirmed that it's not just me being sensitive, he's really bringing this crap up more often) and while I wouldn't say I won by his standards, I think I did. LOL. We were talking about Girlfriend Gamers (aka women that have never gamed in their life, but take it up to spend extra time with the boyfriend, and they're renowned for sucking terribly. I admit I can't stand them either usually!) and he brought up a couple that used to be in our guild. The last few months to a year the guy had turned into a total asshole and even though he left voluntarily the door was smacking his ass on the way out.

Anyway, Raid Leader brought up the girlfriend gamer, and said he didn't like them because, in the case stated above, "GF gamer ruined Him (the boyfriend)".

And I said, uh, whuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?! A bit of back and forth about how he was a cool guy until GF Gamer came along, and I'm like dude, he was a grown man, if he wanted to act like an asshat because his girl was around that was HIS choice. How is this HER fault? ARGH! Thankfully I was not the only one that spoke up that time. Raid Leader kept trying to come at it from different angles about how it was Her fault, and I said I'm leaving this conversation because my answer to your argument remains the same. It was his choice in how he acted, no one else is to blame for his behavior. End of story!

Oy vey this boy. If you were to change "women" to "blacks" on any of his tirades it would be atrocious. Why it's any less so for women is beyond me. Lol.

bubbeedee said...

ugh, all of that sure takes me back to my Navy days. Which I am reminded once again I do not miss. Interesting that he is so insistent that it's all her fault. Isn't that the same as saying she has the power? Isn't that admitting that the guy (and by inference possibly the idiot in question also) is weak? And that men are somehow inferior to these female beings who can so easily manipulate them? Ditto for the "women always win either way" dude. So he's admitting they're superior? Sounds like the kind of pouty thing a kid says to his parents.... And you're right, if we were talking any minority here it would be plain as day how wrong it is. I have such an incredibly logical feminist daughter. All the years of Barbie-slamming paid off ;)

Stassja said...

I know! It just doesn't make sense at all, lol. I've known for a while this guy really takes no responsibility for his actions, Shanna was one of his best friends for a while and I remember a conversation the three of us had about people changing. Shanna and I insisted that it was a good thing many times, and that no one is perfect and could always improve. He insisted that change was just bad bad bad and when she told him (after he asked) that yes, even he could handle some improvement, he didn't talk to her for two weeks. Real mature!