So I had a big fat DUH moment the other night. Anthony, Emily and I were watching the Business of Being Born (excellent, everyone needs to see this flick) and Anthony said again how he doesn't want to be around for the next birth, at all. He said he's fine with it being a homebirth and all that, it wouldn't change if I were in the hospital, he just gets sooooo nervous thinking of me in labor. (He's a protector through and through, I can't fault him for that!) I plan on surrounding myself with some of my closest ladies, so it's really not the end of the world for me.
He also feels really bad I missed the first hour with Ray (gets quite upset about that) and says I should be allowed some alone time with the next one. He's a sweety.
Anyway, I already knew all this. The big old DUH moment was this: it's no wonder I didn't go into labor! I've been telling people right and left (when they're unsure of who to allow into the labor room) that a few different things can "go wrong" on that front. Mom can hold up labor with her own reservations/fears/random other emotional hangups. A person the woman is uncomfortable with coming into the room can also slow/stall labor. And, last but not least, someone in the room who is very nervous/worried can have an effect on things.
Now please understand that Anthony DID want me to go into labor, this was of course nothing conscious on his part. Nor on mine. But being a big fat empath I am very highly tuned to his frequency, as it were. Soemthing will happen, he'll say it doesn't bother him or he doesn't care, and I'm the one who doesn't sleep for a month because he's turmoil inside.
So this...this makes ALOT of sense. Especially considering some of the "false" starts I had, and precisely when they stopped...how anxious he was to get to the hospital...so yes, he will be FAR away for the next one. Once baby time hits I'll have Shannapance come down for a weekend, perhaps, and send Anthony up to play video games with Ryan, and we'll get that party started.
(I am at times also very well tuned to Shanna, and at the end of the pregnancy with Ray just IM'ing her on msn was enough to make my contractions stronger and painful. So the effect with Anthony is not isolated!)
This realization is VERY reassuring to me. I've looked around a bit learning about having an irritable uterus (which I most certainly do) and if a woman has it with the first it's common for it to happen again with subsequent pregnancies. I asked the midwife I would likely see in san diego about it online, and she said it's also common for a woman with an irritable uterus to have trouble developing a strong effective contraction pattern for labor. Since you can't induce a VBAC because of the much-increased risk of uterine rupture, that would possibly leave me high and dry for a VBAC. Knowing that it probably wasn't 100% my body gives me alot more confidence that the next time I CAN do it on my own. :)