Friday, 2 July 2010

Parenting, update!

Well ok, there's nothing NEW new on this front, but I was just reading back through my last post and wanted to update a bit on how things are going.

Ray is doing pretty well with the new, gentler me. Shocking, right? It's been a paradigm shift, from the mainstream view that children need to Obey, and Behave. Children are not meant to do any such thing. Some children are naturally agreeable and will listen more often than others, but I'd guess that the majority are not that way. Certainly, not Ray. And I'm becoming ok with that. I'm letting go of the fear of what other people must think of me because he runs around like a wild person. This is the only time in his life when society will let him be this free, and he will get to enjoy it.

Of course, there are boundaries. Hitting (especially his brother) or pushing is not ok. But even then, I simply sternly ask him not to, and remind him that he can still just move away from Dori if he is being bothered. Also, reminders that Dori is not trying to hurt him with the grabbing pinching and pulling. I also request that he apologize, but we're not real firm on this one yet. Sometimes he will, sometimes he won't. I will still put him "on the wall" (timeout, basically) for certain things, but not for tantrums, and I stay with him. It's never long, and then I let him up. Often without doing what I asked him because I just don't want to make a huge fight/power struggle out of something minor. Tantrums are met with conversation and comfort.

Dori of course is not yet on this scale anywhere. I know there's really no teaching behaviorally at this age, aside from giving him love and cuddles and kisses whenever possible.

So yeah, things are improving. Of course I forgot to bring my book that I was reading. Not that I'm getting much time to read anyhow. This visit has been enjoyable, but stressful. The stress-issues that it solved have been exchanged for other issues, like more sleep problems (teeth teeth and more teeth. 6 have come in since we got his tongue clipped back in mid-May) and lack of baby-proofing in a house full of adults. (Well it's partially baby-proofed, but we're hitting that age with Dori where he's learning to get into new things every day so it's impossible to stay ahead of him without emptying all rooms of everything!) I'm having fun but I'm starting to long for home.

Will post more later, I really want to get back into blogging! About more than just babies, too. :) Hopefully in the coming months there will be a revelation of sorts, and then I can share alot more on here. I know, MYSTERYYYYYYY. O_O!

1 comment:

Lacy Rose said...

I have been inspired by this post. I argue and lose my patience often. I hate being the parent that always yells. I feel like I am always saying NO! STOP IT! Get back! blah blah.

I need to let him control a few things because my way of parenting is just not working.