Free

Free at last! I just left the "debate" team at babycenter. (A forum for moms and moms-to-be) There used to be some interesting debates but these days it's nothing but "Hey, look at this parent that does things I find controversial! Let's all point and gasp and think how much more awesome we are!". And it's not even really, truly bad things. And sometimes not bad at all. I just saw a thread pop up where they were going to "debate" Unschooling (a form of homeschooling) and just unsubscribed for the whole lot. No one there is actually interested in debating, in presenting logical arguments or learning from each other. It's just a big ugly judgement fest and I can't take it anymore. It's vile and disgusting and only adds to the unattainable Super Mom persona that so many of us labor under, whether we do so consciously or not.

With my recent epiphany about judging other moms I just can't stomach all that toxic spew any more. Bleh.

For whatever reason I feel like this baby is more fragile. We're also "feeling" girl. (Not to say we girls are inherently fragile, at all, just how I feel for whatever reason.) Just for the record, Shanna is feeling that she'll be much smaller, like size won't be an issue this time, and that it might be because she'll come a little earlier? She also felt a respiratory problem of some kind, nothing serious or life-threatening, just maybe some trouble breathing from being early or could even be asthma later on. (Would also make sense with my own history.) Again, this is nothing we're going to bank on or plan on happening, just possibilities. She wasn't wrong about Ray though (although her record is not perfect) so I just want to file it away here for pondering down the road.

So yeah, interesting stuff. :)

Gee whiz

When the hell will people ever get it?

Homeschoolers are not friendless, socially crippled losers incapable of talking to people outside their circle of friends or acting appropriately depending on their situation.

A tidbit for thought:

Let's say you want to learn how to ball-room dance. It's a VERY important skill in your society, and without it life would be exceedingly difficult. So you decide you need to learn it, and go to a school for it. Everyone swears that the best way to learn to ballroom dance is to go hang out all day in a room filled with people that also haven't the first clue about ballroom dancing. Then, as years pass people will bitch incessantly about how much you suck at ballroom dancing, and yet perpetuate the system and claim that learning to do it from a small group of people that ballroom dance expertly is just ludicrous and silly.

WE MUST CONTINUOUSLY REINVENT THE WHEEL K. AND WE WONDER WHY KIDS SHOOT EACH OTHER AFTER YEARS OF BULLYING. Orite that wus the VIDEO GAMEZ. OF SATAN. AND EVIL...STUFF.

*beats her head on the desk*

Seriously?! Does anyone think about what they say and do AT ALL?

****This post has been brought to you by Coca-Cola, Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, and Idiots. Mostly idiots.

Owned

Well I guess I had that coming. *shakes fist at karma* But I think it was kind of the wakeup call I needed to see just how very poisonous these kinds of thoughts are.

I was having a silly back and forth with my sister in law today (the one with the new adorable little guy) about who had the cuter kid. Was quite playful but on the snarky side, normal for us. She mentioned me having a ten lb monster and I retorted about her shrimpy little thing (he's still probably not ten lbs at two weeks). Then she said "At least I was able to push him out" and I think the wind went out of my. I called uncle, and said "ouch, below the belt" and she immediately apologized, saying that was mean. I know it happens, and I know she didn't mean anything by it. No hard feelings there, but owowowowow, was it ever a sock to the gut.

I didn't post it but I meant to recently, as I'd been thinking of how very unique each birth is. As unique as each life that is being given, and the one giving it. It has sort of it's own life span, ups and downs, and different effects on those around (experiencing) it. Just as we cannot judge the quality and happiness in someone else's life based on our own experience, we cannot put labels on others births. We can laugh with them, cry with them, hug them in joy or comfort, but it is not our place to call into question their feelings about it. I discovered last night I was actually able to sympathize with my other sister in laws difficult birth experience, without a hint of jealousy, and truly empathize with her. It was a wonderful feeling after so long.

So I've realized that in spite of my best attempts at hiding the poisonous thoughts, they did bubble to the surface and my sister in law, on some level picked up on them. Or has similar thoughts herself, who had it rougher and who did better and blah blah blah. It's not a pretty thing on either end and for me at least, it MUST stop, and it is, right now.

I've seen how truly ugly (and again Bird, should you be reading this no hard feelings, I really brought it on myself and obviously needed the kick in the rear) the Mommy Competition is and I'm not taking part anymore. Inside or out.

If I'm ever going to feel good about any future birth, my own especially but others as well, I must quiet this demon and move on.

I guess you could call this some sort of new years thing but it's merely coincidence, I've needed this change in attitude for a long time. If anyone wants to contribute a little, I'm intensely interested in this book after reading an excerpt online. I've found it super cheap Used on Borders Marketplace for like $4.00, we just haven't a cent to spare right now. I would be eternally grateful should a copy find itself headed my way. :)

The good and the bad

First, the good! My newest nephew was born today at 5:30 pm. His mama went in for her induction last night, and aside from needing some vacuum assistance came out just perfect at 7.7lbs and 20.5 inches! His name is Matthias Alexander. And I get to see him on Jan 2nd wooooooo!

Okay, and the not so good. I should be happy for her. And, I am! But unhappy with the labor, and that's not my place. More like it's dredging up the feeling, once again, that my body is broke. And I KNOW that's not true. I had so many other circumstances that thankfully she did not have. And I wouldn't for the world wish my experience on her. Ever.

When I heard her mom say she had a rough time I wanted to scream that she didn't! She had it easy! It didn't last two days and X and X and Y. She doesn't have this fucking scar to deal with forever! She doesn't have her future birthing options severely limited, and constant anxiety that things will go terrible again because of it! Of course I would never say that. To her or her mom. Or anyone! It's shameful even thinking it. At the same time I'm bothered even thinking that it was somehow easy for her because of X and Y and Z. Who the fuck should have to measure up to my stick of Toughness before they're allowed to call it Tough? That's just insane. I hate feeling that way. I'm a shmuck. =/ (And yes I know tons of people have it toughER than I did, CS or not)

I had this same deal happen with her sister during her birth. And she also had tough parts of her labor. Shoulder dystocia is something I hope I never see. (Look! See my measuring stick?! She's almost up to ME now! Ugh!)

It's really making me question my desire to become a doula. Am I going to feel this way after every birth? I know I'll never fully be OVER it, but will it fade so I don't suddenly get sucked back down into these terrible, unfair thoughts and feelings? Please tell me it gets better.

And I don't think having a VBAC will necessarily be some cathartic, healing experience. It will heal some wounds, certainly. Maybe it will heal this feeling that my body sucks and is inadequate somehow. I know it will also dredge up some more shit from the first birth. And that scares me a little. Will it reduce or remove this vitriol when others have "easier", successful vaginal births?

*sigh* Will be mulling that over the next few days. No I won't. I'm putting it away until our drive up north. Then I'll have tons of quiet time to ponder. No keeping me up at night, you thoughts! *shoos them*

It really sucks when you know your feelings are BS and you just can't change it somehow. Someone tell me something wise and revealing so I can sleep tonight!! I may as well go buy my tylenol PM now. LOL.

Tired of the fight

I'm really, really tired of our raid leader in WoW. For those of you that don't play, keep reading because this actually has nothing to do with the game.

He's a 27 year old virgin (which on it's own is all fine and cool. The guy has standards, whatevs) that still lives with his parents and is absolutely convinced women are evil, lying psychopaths. Oh, he's plenty intelligent, just got his masters, and has interesting things to say on many subjects.

Until you start talking about women. And the guy obviously has no clue what he's talking about, but his fantasy world of wicked conniving women is gospel truth, dontcha know. He tried to dominate me, yet again, today. It's not the first time.

It usually goes through some version of this:

Him: Mysoginistic remark, sometimes thinly veiled by attempting to be humorous.
Me: WTF
Him: Tries to validate his point.
Me: Completely owns him in the face, quietly showing the misogyny in his statement without really calling him out.
Him: Long silence, followed by some form of "Well I was just trying to be funny" aka, "What you said doesn't really matter, I have control here and now don't you sound silly for OVERREACTING TO A JOKE!"

Today I called him on the last part, saying "Oh that's cute, now you're just trying to make it out as a joke to invalidate my point. Nice try."

Another guild member pointed out I was doing that woman thing where I was going to win either way. Not really sure how to take that, but deciding to shelf it for now.

I understand that the jokes are just going to be part of playing a very male dominated game as a known vagina-bearer. There's tons of sexist humor, and even being something of a feminist I can laugh because I know most of the guys are just poking fun, and have wives or girlfriends that are treated well.

But raid leader...ugh. It bothers me even more because the other folks in the guild will only say something to him if it's a complete bullshit statement, like very very obvious. Today somebody started out with the "female orgasm is a myth" thing. (What does that even mean, really?) I pointed out my confusion, and how any man saying that that had ever had sex with a woman was insulting himself mostly, as it meant he might be bad in bed. Raid leader started in with some Seinfield reference and women doing it to further their ambitions.

I said (in so many words) that it was in the best interest of both parties to ask once in a while if there was any way they could improve or if their current actions were really "doing it" for the other person. I said that this was the super secret to good sex, actually caring about the other persons pleasure and that it was easy enough to avoid a woman "faking it" by asking if you could do something different/better. Raid-leader was markedly silent during this, and then said that he was just trying to make a joke and point out the seinfield reference. (Again, trying to get back on top by making me out to be the "crazy overreacting bitch") That's when I tossed out the "Oh that's cute, you were just trying to make a funny so my point would be invalid". That shut him up for a while. XD I love owning him in the face, but it's really bugging me that I have to keep dealing with his shit, and Anthony and I are usually the only ones to really stand up to his childish behavior like that.

Sigh.

Why am I up at 4:20am? It's not to toke up, unfortunately. Because my beloved son has been up shrieking at me since 3 friggin am. (He's currently squeezing my nipple, wtffffff) Tried it all, hugs, love, milk (milk and more milk), comforting, and letting him cry (a little). He'll quiet down for ten mins, juuuuust long enough for me to ALMOST fall asleep, and then out of the blue he's shrieking again. I so don't get it. So he's up now, and I'm letting him play in the dark a few minutes in the hopes that it will reset him a bit.

SO NOT COOL OK. Especially with Anthony's schedule, because he never really gets a day off to sleep in. Or he'll get ONE. He just doesn't understand that I don't even want to sleep in that late, I just want, once in a while, to wake up when my body says so. Not when the shrieker in the next room demands it. I can literally count on one hand the number of times I've been able to do this since he was born. Anthony? Just spent five months livin' it up bachelor style, staying up late playing video games and sleeping till 4pm on weekends. CRY ME A RIVER OK MR 6AM?

On that note, gonna lay this punk down after I change his butt, and hopefully we'll get some sleep up in this piece. (He was even up late tonight. I DON'T GET IT.) Oh, and here's some survey thing. Enjoy.



1. Do you support international adoption? Most definitely! Kids from all over need love and families.
2. Do you support affirmative action? Not really. People better qualified being turned down to meet a quota is not cool with me.
3. Are you for or against experimentation on animals? While I dislike animals being hurt, it's not something we can do on humans morally, so I'm for it, as the lesser of two "evils".
4. Did you name your kid a Wal*martized name? Hell no.
5. For or against Capital Punishment? Very much FOR!
6. For or against the legalization of medical marijuana? For, people getting locked up and/or raided when they're chronically in pain and it's the best way to deal (with no side-effects) is not cool with me.
7. Do you have an eating disorder? I eat alot, I love food, and am not fond of puking. Certainly NOT!
8. Do you believe in Global Warming? Not entirely. I do agree that we should work on using fewer resources and being gentler on our planet where possible.
9. Are you against gambling? No, but I think it's pretty stupid beyond a friendly poker game.
10. Do you pray? At times, in a way. Not like I used to.
11. Do you have homosexual tendencies? Nunya! (bizness)
12. Are you having an affair? Yes. With Edward Norton. Doesn't seem to matter what movie he's in, I just want to hug him and tuck him away somewhere safe.
13. Are you for or against gun control? Are you part of the NRA? For gun control as in background checks and gun safety courses. AGAINST making them illegal or any such silliness. Not part of the NRA, I don't own a gun at this time.
14. For or against Universal Health care? Against! Being in military healthcare, and imagining if it was that way for everyone, all the time...I agree there are SERIOUS problems with our current system, but handing the government the reins (what public program have they NOT fucked up so far?) is not the answer imo.
15. Do you give to the homeless? Can't afford to right now, but I give when I can.
16. Do you support gay and lesbian civil unions? Marriages? Most definitely.
17. Do you believe or did you believe in the War on Terrorism? I did, and still do in some ways, not in others. It's a big humping mess.
18. Should abstinence or birth control be taught in schools? I'm all about some knowledge. Straight forward facts about BC, how to avoid pregnancy, and acknowledging that abstinence is still the only 100% option.
19. Should underage girls be allowed to have abortions without their guardians knowing? Nope, sorry.
20. Do you want prayer in public schools? I don't think there needs to be group prayer in the classroom. (Teacher led or over the MC) However, if, say, a group of high-schoolers wants to start a prayer group as a club, then I think they should have that right.
21. Should obese people pay for 2 airplane seats? I'll have to pay for my toddler soon, I vote yes. You take up two seats, you pay for two seats. Sorry bout your luck.
22. Are you a Republican or Democrat? Meh. Neither, these days.
23. Do you return your cart? I'll be honest, I'm one of THOSE people, that rarely puts the cart away. If I happen to not have Ray with me, then I do. But if it's hot out (and I always put him in as soon as the groceries are in) then I just put it wherever nearby and hop in. It's texas folks, it's HOT. Cart boy gets paid, and I just paid the grocery store for my food, some of that goes to him.

wtfNO

Once again humanity disappoints me. Someone on the Debate boards on babycenter posted this article.

Court Slams Wis. Cops In Coma Sex Case: Police Filmed Man Having Sex With Comatose Wife In Nursing Home

No, no, no. Once again the justice system fails.

Even more disturbing to me was the responses of the WOMEN on this board.

First, the usual "but he's a good person!" BS from the WOMANS sister. "The woman's sister is upset that prosecutors brought charges against him, Kelly said. "She believes her sister's husband was merely expressing his love for his wife and was trying everything he could to bring her back to consciousness," Kelly said. "

So because he had good intentions, it's ok. What if she had said no? If he went slow and tried to make her feel good, but still did it, would it not be rape? WTF? Of course it would be rape! She's freaking comatose people. Many of the women on the board reflected similar feelings, that it was "sweet" that he was "just trying to connect with his wife" because he missed her.

*head asplode*

"My first impression is that it's gross.

But then, when you give the guy the benefit of the doubt, the poor guy could just want a connection with his wife. Maybe he did have some weird hope that having sex with her would wake her up. "

"My first thought was also that it's gross.

Then I thought, well maybe it's kind of bittersweet..."

"Definitely sounds gross but as others have said, it does seem he was trying "by any means necessary" to bring her back. So romantic in such a twisted way."

WTF is wrong with people? Seriously, if it wasn't his wife would they be saying this? Marriage is not OWNERship people. Just because he married her does not mean he can do it without her consent. He had absolutely no RIGHT to do it, ever! There is no marriage clause that said it's the spouses RIGHT to extract sex from their partner, no matter what. UGH. What the hell, honestly. Thankfully after those first few gems some voices of reason popped in (along with my own) saying hell no son! Not ok!

And honestly I think since the police were tipped off and there was reasonable suspicion, I don't think his rights were violated, privacy-wise. I think also that since it's not like this is happening in their home, it's in a nursing home, that's something else too. While I'm all about constitutional right to privacy, I think in a case like this they should be able to use that evidence. And if the police were tipped off why did they not do a rape kit on the woman? Fail, fail, fail.

So now apparently we all need to make living wills that include "If I'm in a coma, no one is allowed to rape me.". WTF (Not that Anthony would do something like this, but still. BLARGH)

Ell. Oh. Ell.

Three truths have become apparent to me today.

1. My landlady is dumb.
2. My dumb landlady thinks I'm dumb.
3. I'm not dumb.

Too bad she doesn't know it!

So this morning she calls and asks if I've moved yet.

...

Bwuuuuhhhhh? I said NO, it was my understanding, when you demanded I continue paying the rent, that I was not being let out of the lease. She goes "I never said you couldn't move, I've been asking you to move for months now". Yeah, a bunch of back and forth and basically she gave us her "permission" to move, but was not going to terminate the lease.

Yeah, I'm still laughing. I don't need your permission you rotten old wench, I need the fucking lease amended! I let her know, since we were obviously on different wavelengths, that unless the lease was ended early there was NO way we would be moving. Absolutely, positively, not.

Honestly, do I just come off as having an IQ of 38? Seriously, do I SEEM that naive and downright stupid? Then, since it is my responsibility as per the lease, I asked that she send me a copy of the pest control bill. She chose that opening to try and put the tree limb trimming on my plate too, since "trees" are part of the "yard maintenance" and trimming is on there. Yeah, I think trimming is something I could conceivably do with a step ladder and hedge-trimmers, not a fucking chainsaw and several men to hold the limb so it doesn't annihilate the third bedroom. The tree was nearly touching the house, but it was not hanging to the ground, or resting on the roof. As I'm not the home owner I do not feel comfortable just lobbing off huge limbs from the neighbors trees, and I never in a million years would have thought of rats using that as an easy access to get in. (Oh yeah, did I mention all the rats that I LET into the house? That the pest guy says don't exist, but the AC REPAIR MEN SAID THERE WERE MICE OMFG EXTERMINATE NOW)

So yeah, I took pics of everything and if she wants to take me to small claims over that shit, and be ground under the salty heel of Navy Legal, then by all means. Let's do it, bitch.

Basically today, rather than get all riled up over her anymore, I'm mostly just amused and mildly annoyed. Silly old bat. Just not worth the energy!

So my question, dear readers (few though ye may be), is this:
If you're renting a property, and your responsibilities according to the lease include tree trimming, do you think something of THIS magnitude is covered? When you moved in only five months prior? (Obviously WELL beyond five months of growth in my eyes)

The tree the biggest limb up top (hard to see for the leaves/smaller limbs) was cut from is on the left in the lower pic. It arced up over the roof, where it hovered a few inches from the shingles. It was not resting on the roof, or obscuring any windows. Nor was it encroaching on the AC unit.

Crisis Averted, I suppose.

So SHE called me while I was at the laundromat wednesday. (Joy upon joy, I assure you.) Told me she wasn't letting me out of the lease, and of course tried to make it my own fault. Blathered on about how the house was too messy to show it, and too messy to assess damages. I said uh, hello? I would move before we do a walkthrough. (DUH.) And I was ready to basically end the lease within two days, and be out and everything. So basically, she had no intention of letting us go in the first place. I asked her, during that phone call, why she had kept asking me to leave then. She then reminded me when she expected the rent and hung up.

Bitch.

So now? Everything in writing, with pictures, before and after repairs, and no more hand-delivered rent checks. The gloves are off, and I'll still be taking my lease to a lawyer to peruse for loopholes. (Sidenote, that's the correct use of "peruse", which really means to look through something deeply, not skim!) Next time it happens we will MAKE a way out of this place, if we have to tunnel out of here.

Roaches are still around, but seem better. Pest guy checked the rat bait yesterday, and no sign of any funny business. He was really nice, too, a little older, and Ray loved him. Actually ran up to him, arms up to be held. He doesn't really do that with other folks, but if this kid doesn't have Anthonys and my intuition with people then I'll be a monkeys uncle.

Ray has been up a ton the past few nights. Started off with a fever around the time we went to the laundromat (one of those annoying off/on afternoon/evening fevers, though it ran fairly high thursday, 102-103), and then up all friday night. That morning (just before his 1yr well-baby appt) he had a spotty red rash all over his belly and back. The dr said it might be measles, at first, then when I explained more about what had happened, decided it might be chicken pox.

And again, joy upon joy. So he's been cranky (for his temperament) and up again last night. The tummy rash hasn't changed but now there's this weird business on his thigh. No more fevers though, so maybe he'll be getting better soon.

Mmmmm, fried rice. Made up some fresh rice last night, sauteed some onions and eggs in and used the easy imitation-only-not-imitation crab meat. Found out it tastes MUCH better than the actual imitation crab from the same brand. All buttery and delicious. Yum.

Despite my kvetching (half the reason I haven't blogged much lately, it'd all be incessant bitching) we're not doing too terrible out here. My neighbor spoils me, and just mowed my front lawn after he did his. I really need to go buy them a thing of gas. Stupid lawn services are like $40 around here (and that's from a nice, cheap guy) just for mowing, and I apparently have recently developed a serious grass allergy. Last time I mowed it (in jeans and a tanktop) I broke out into a monster rash all over my arms, neck and shoulders. It looked (and felt) like poison ivy. Didn't have that problem when I was younger, mowed my share of lawns in my time, and never had this happen.

Thankfully, once Anthony is on this ship he won't be gone more than 2-3 weeks at a time so he'll be able to keep up with the mowing. Ignoring the 6 month cruise next year, of course. But by that time we'll probably be preparing for San Diego, or hey, maybe out of this dungheap! Woo!

Oh Em Gee

Believe it or not, I'm still alive. I've been in hiding, because I didn't want to turn my blog into a bitchfest about my landlady. Suffice it to say, she can't stand that I complain about her busted ass slum we're living in and has been straight rude, mean, and obnoxious. I'm already a nervous wreck 24/7 about it, so I'll keep it short and say that if things go well tomorrow we'll be moving by the end of the month to a great townhouse community nearby. I'm really really excited to be out of this old horrid house, with the roaches and insulation in the AC vents and mice and...yeah.

I'm sad to say goodbye to our neighbors though. The couple next door has three kids and they've been nothing but sweet and helpful. Feeding the cat during my frequent travels, mowing my lawn on occasion, and offering to watch Ray. I'll probably take them up on that offer during the move, and find them a nice gift card for a restaraunt or something in thanks. Can't think of anything else that would cover the whole family as far as a gift.

Been traveling alot, seeing family and such. We had a great time in NY and NH, seeing all the great grandparents, grand aunts/uncles, and first and second cousins and such. Ray loved playing with our cousins, and it was all a little weird for me. There's quite the age range among me and the cousins on my moms side, as my son is only a year younger than my youngest cousin, so I'm really stuck between generations.

So yeah. I'm strung out and probably going to need high blood pressure meds if this keeps up. Things are sounding good on getting out of here this week however, and lemme tell you that will be three million pounds off my shoulders. Tomorrow we will be sealing the deal on when exactly I'll be out of here, thank god. For better or worse, at least we'll have some closure.

Ugh don't think I'll sleep much tonight. ><

Thank you AMA/ACOG, but I think NOT.

Dunno how many of you keep up with current news in the birthing world, but there's some scary shit going on. I haven't been blogging much on it since most every birth blog I know of has said it all, and far more eloquently than I. However, I feel that every one, whether they're part of the birthing community, have children, don't have them, male, female, old or young, needs to know about this. I'd like to think that this is all utterly unconstitutional and so shall never be passed, but these days I've lost more than a little faith in the government. I think the Big Push for Midwives said it perfectly when they called this fiasco "Big Brother meets Father Knows Best".

The AMA (American Medical Association) has joined the ACOG (American College of Gynecologists) in frowning heavily on homebirth, and gone a step further in suggesting that legislation be introduced that "supports" the notion that the safest place for birthing and the post-partum period is in the hospital.

I mean...wow. Just wow. It seems every day that passes makes this country a more scary place to live.

The quote in full: (emphasis mine)

Whereas, Twenty-one states currently license midwives to attend
home births, all using the certified professional midwife (CPM)
credential (CPM or "lay midwives), not the certified midwives (CM)
credential which both the American College of Obstetricians and
Gynecologists (ACOG) and American College of Nurse Midwives (ACNM)
recognize[1]; and

Whereas,
There has been much attention in the media by celebrities having home
deliveries, with recent Today Show headings such as Ricki Lake takes on
baby birthing industry: Actress and former talk show host shares her
at-home delivery in new film [2]; and

Whereas,
An apparently uncomplicated pregnancy or delivery can quickly become
very complicated in the setting of maternal hemorrhage, shoulder
dystocia, eclampsia or other obstetric emergencies, necessitating the
need for rigorous standards, appropriate oversight of obstetric
providers, and the availability of emergency care, for the health of
both the mother and the baby during a delivery; therefore be it

RESOLVED,
That our American Medical Association support the recent American
College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) statement that the
safest setting for labor, delivery, and the immediate post-partum
period is in the hospital, or a birthing center within a hospital
complex, that meets standards jointly outlined by the American Academy
of Pediatrics (AAP) and ACOG, or in a freestanding birthing center that
meets the standards of the Accreditation Association for Ambulatory
Health Care, The Joint Commission, or the American Association of Birth
Centers [3] (New HOD Policy); and be it further

RESOLVED,
That our AMA develop model legislation in support of the concept that
the safest setting for labor, delivery, and the immediate post-partum
period is in the hospital, or a birthing center within a hospital
complex, that meets standards jointly outlined by the AAP and ACOG, or
in a freestanding birthing center that meets the standards of the
Accreditation Association for Ambulatory Health Care, The Joint
Commission, or the American Association of Birth Centers. (Directive to
Take Action)

Fiscal Note: Implement accordingly at estimated staff cost of $1,929.

Received: 04/28/08

The thought of having CPS take my children because I chose to give birth at home with a midwife is absolutely terrifying to me.

If I can make it

Let's see if I can make it ONE FLIPPING DAY without any kind of service person or repairmen in my house. Jesus.

Day one - Walk in the door and there's no AC. It's 90+ inside and hotter out. We spend an absolutely miserable afternoon sweating our nuts off as it took hours for the guy to fix it.

Monday - Guy installs internet/cable. Woo. Plumber comes to fix sink in my bathroom, which has a leaky pipe. (Idiots who lived here before duct-taped it. NOT WORKING, GENIUSES.) AC guys return because when they first got it running, insulation and grit shot out of EVERY vent. Yuck. That afternoon lawn man comes and hacks away at my jungle of a backyard.

Thursday night, as I'm getting out of the shower, the hot water handle busts and I can't turn off the water. At almost midnight. Plumber coming in the morning, as the fix could take a few hours and I don't want to be up all night with Ray. The bathroom was all drippy and steamy in the morning, even though a window was open. The good news is my water heater is freaking epic, as the water was apparently hot most of the night. Come to my house for eternal showers!

Friday, plumber replaces the faucets, and our final shipment is delivered. (Bad news on the water heater is it's somehow "not up to code" so I guess it needs replacing or some shit. Maybe because it's TINY. Or something. But still, with the eternal water.) Other good news is the water company checked the meter for me and it was "only" about 1000 gallons. Apparently in water world, that's not bad. Of course I've only been showering every other day, one person using the toilet, I almost never wash my hands now (thank you, hand dermatitis) and I haven't done dishes and there's no washer for laundry. So the water bill should be miniscule anyhow.

My computer case is a bit dented on the front, but it's on a decorative area so I figured it was just superficial. Turned on fine, but the sound wasn't working so I went to pull it out of the desk and see if anything was loose. The outside of the case SHOCKED me. Like, the whole freaking thing was electrified. It wasn't a huge shock, but running my fingers along the case it buzzed with electricity. Outstanding. So, rather than 1-damage the pc further, 2-have Ray hurt touching it and 3-start a freaking house fire, I'm using Anthony's until I can file a claim with the moving company and get it replaced. I might opt for claiming the whole pc, and not just the case...I could use some upgrades. I mean, if I still had my dell I would have to anyhow, dell motherboards are soldered to the case. GG.

Well anyway, I'm going to take my boy to the beach, I think.

It's getting awfully scary around here

I was reading a post yesterday about obstetricians performing c-sections under court order.

Wow. I'm almost speechless. And I'm furious. This means that pregnant women have fewer rights (medically speaking) than dead bodies. You can't do shit to a body without consent.

This whole deal of placing the unborn childs needs before the mother is...shaky. It's a nice idea, but in practice? A frightening breach of human rights. Especially in a supposedly pro-choice country. The idea that the woman in the article could likely have shown up to that hospital a few months earlier and had that same baby, who was in "grave danger", and have it aborted, and would not have received a second look...it's beyond me. I'm not here to debate abortion, it's an awfully sticky subject.

But the idea that a woman, simply because she is pregnant, can not be trusted to weigh her options, risks, and make the best choice for her AND her baby is sad and about 4000 steps in the wrong direction.

As a woman who is hoping for an HBAC in the next few years, the idea is especially troubling.

And people want to hand over the reins of the medical industry to the government? I'm moving far, far, far away.

HURGHBLARGHAGHAGHAGH

Well tomorrow we officially hit the two week point.

Time to FREAK THE HELL OUT.

We're scrambling to try and see if we can find a way to bring Claudia. Of course all this shit has to hit the fan on the weekend when our hands are tied. I looked up the airlines we'll be on regarding pets, and hopefully PSD can get things fixed to allow for her. I was really counting on being able to find her a spanish home, and it's not working out at all. I found a boarding house that looks pretty good in TX for about $400 before military/long-term discount. That includes feeding costs. Not too bad but of course it complicates all the traveling 300x.

Still trying to get the car fixed, and we just dropped another bucket of money into that shitty ass rental we've been driving for two months. Ugh.

My computer has randomly decided that it doesn't like the internet. Can't even reset the settings without it locking up, or update the drivers for the motherboard. The same mobo which is only two or three months old. GUH.

Housing inspection needs to be scheduled, and if we can take the cat then I need to buy her a kennel and get various forms that say she's healthy.

Ray has a dr's appt next week because I think he has an adhesion on his penis from the circumcision. I've been faithfully pulling it back daily to keep it clean but he apparently has his mommies healing powers. I wish we'd never done it.

Thursday the movers are back to take the rest of our stuff. On top of figuring out what goes and what stays we'll be mailing a few boxes of stuff either to TX or SC. So rather than sorting things into two piles, we have four. Yay.

I need to call like four different people. We can't get in touch with our sponsor and the ombudsman has not returned my email, and didn't answer her phone just now. Yay.

Someone kill me now. Even better, drug me and wake me up in a month when we arrive in SC. Don't even get me thinking about the flight. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It's really just sad...

Reason #89798 that I will not be living in California, ever, if I can help it.

Homeschoolers' setback sends shockwaves through the state


'A California appeals court ruling clamping down on homeschooling by parents without teaching credentials sent shock waves across the state this week, leaving an estimated 166,000 children as possible truants and their parents at risk of prosecution.'

Not cool, yo.

'"A primary purpose of the educational system is to train school children in good citizenship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation as a means of protecting the public welfare," the judge wrote, quoting from a 1961 case on a similar issue.'

This statement is just all kinds of scary to me, gogo government propaganda and brainwashing. (Can you tell I'm trying reaaaally hard not to pull Godwin's Law here?) Because of course, no parent could actually teach their child at home and instill these qualities in their children. You know those homeschooled kids are such a rowdy bunch of anarchy-loving vagrants...

'Heimov said her organization's (Children's Law Center of Los Angeles) chief concern was not the quality of the children's education, but their "being in a place daily where they would be observed by people who had a duty to ensure their ongoing safety."'

Naturally this isn't the PARENTS job. They're not supposed to care about their childrens safety, only the government can do that! And really, at home or in a school, who needs an education? Poppycock! Just a form of daycare where you try and keep the kids from hurting themselves and killing each other. (I'd really like to see statistics on the amount of underage sex, drug selling/using, alcohol use and school shootings in "home schools". Probably off the charts! I bet they can't even read or do simple math, either.)

And here's the part I really don't get:

'The ruling arose from a child welfare dispute between the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services and Philip and Mary Long of Lynwood, who have been homeschooling their eight children. Mary Long is their teacher, but holds no teaching credential.

The parents said they also enrolled their children in Sunland Christian School, a private religious academy in Sylmar (Los Angeles County), which considers the Long children part of its independent study program and visits the home about four times a year.'

It goes on to talk about how a homeschooling parent in CA must be accredited, blah blah. Or the child must go to a school, public or private, full time. Otherwise CPS can haul off the kids and put the parents behind bars for 'educational neglect'.

Now I totally understand protecting children and doing everything in our power to ensure every child is given opportunities to learn. Truly. But to me, "educational neglect" implies a failing or laziness on the part of the parent. I'm sure, out there somewhere, someone has pulled their children out of all school and then gone on to NOT teach them anything at home. Someone must be crazy enough.

But really, if I had eight children, and I was feeling lazy and did NOT want to take the time (and didn't care) to ensure my children were getting a decent education, I think the very last thing I would do is pull them out of public school. Now, please don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that any or all public/private school parents are lazy by sending their children elsewhere to be educated. Not everyone feels the need/desire to teach their children at home, and many don't feel they can adequately do that job. Not to mention the impossibility of a stay at home spouse when two incomes are required.

But seriously, if I were operating on sheer laziness and lack of concern for the welfare of my child, I would be signing him up for public school (woo, free daycare!) TODAY. Imagine all the time I would have on my hands to sit on the couch, eat bon-bons and watch soaps. I could go shopping anytime during the day without having to worry about the hassle of feedings, naps, diapers or tantrums. Life would be a breeze. OR, I could even get a job so we could afford a bigger house, a nice new car, upgrade the computers, play more video games...I'm in!

Anyway, that article just really got my fire going. You know what the straw was that broke the camels back in my family and inspired my mother to deeply consider and eventually decide to homeschool? A tissue. Yep. I came home from school (in second grade at the time and bored out of my mind) and had an argument with her concerning how much a tissue should be used before it was thrown away. She found herself trying to undo something my teacher had taught me that had nothing to do with education, and questioned how much the school was raising and parenting me instead of my own parents. (Not to mention the implication that the school obviously thought they were doing a better job or had greater authority in my life.)

But I digress. My son has apparently forgotten how to go to sleep. He lays in my arms, shrieking, arching his back and acting like he's in mortal agony because I'm holding him. So I put him down, either on the floor or in his crib and THAT is just the END OF THE WORLD. So after a few moments I pick him up again only to receive the same treatment a minute or two later. I put him on the boob, he chills, pulls off before he's completely asleep, wakes himself up and starts it up AGAIN. Like two or three times before he's finally tired and feels he's shrieked sufficiently for the evening and nurses one last time to sleep. I need to look up whether or not this is another age for developmental sleep regression. I hope it's a phase, ugh!

Most of the day he was a doll, however. We've been leaving the baby gate down in the hallway and just shutting the bedroom/bathroom doors as needed. He got into the bathroom three times today. The first I caught him before any havoc was wrought. The second time he was happily splashing in the kitties water bowl. (A much needed bath ensued, where he splashed like a maniac for a good twenty minutes, but in CLEAN water.) The third time I found him sitting in front of the toilet with the entire roll of toilet paper arranged around him. *sigh* I also went out the back door briefly (there's only a knob on the inside, and no other way to latch it) and he decided to "lock" me out by using the door to stand up with. (Had to go around to the front!) Later this evening the front door was open, and it's his new favorite thing to close it. There's about a 7" space between the big door and the storm door with both closed. Well, I heard some thumping and thwumping about, and went to the front door only to find the cat had been shut in between. LOL.

An eventful day indeed! And alot of fun. Still enjoying my little computer, although we're having some trouble working out the kinks with the wireless network and seeing from one pc to the other. The combo modem/router that Telefonica gives out (rated the service provider in southern spain with the most coverage area and WORST customer service/tech support, and I can vouch for that first, second and third-hand) is seven years old, and has a built in firewall that just screws with everything and makes their already slow, shitty dsl all the more slower and shittier. Add a wireless router into the mix and we just can't get anything working as it should. UGH. I am SO effing done with this country. And to think we pay $160 a month for this BS. Christ.