The Good the Bad and the TIRED.

So the good news is, sleep regression at 13 months is nothing new. Most babies go through it.

The bad news is, sleep regression at 13 months is nothing new. Most babies go through it. Which means I basically have to suck it up and just deal for a bit longer.

Oh, I read a few tips that may or may not help. The ones I'm going to try are 1. A set routine for meal time, nap time, and bed time. At the moment bed time is the only sure thing in this house. THANK YOU GOD IT'S 9PM YAY

And 2. Just getting up with him when he wakes at 5/6am/whatever, for an hour or so, and then letting him go back to sleep. A few mamas mentioned this, and I'd prefer that to getting into another cosleeping habit.

Cosleeping has been a really tricky thing for me. On the one hand, I am a BORN CUDDLER and I LOVE IT. Could eat it up with a big old spoon. It's comforting having him next to me, especially when Anthony isn't home. And, he tends to sleep better.

On the other hand I HATE IT. I hate having to be super quiet, or that if he encroaches on my side of the bed I can't easily move him. It keeps me up, worrying that I'll wake him, and I have to be right there with him for fear of him rolling out of bed. (For you safety nuts out there, I do have a railing on the far side of the bed, but I'll have to get it down before Anthony returns.)

I still would like to cosleep next time around during the early months. The last thing I'll be needing with a toddler and newborn is the kind of sleep I got last time. Yikes!

Other than my adventures in (not) sleeping, things have been quiet out this way. We are officially broke as a joke (that isn't very funny) and I'm half way through my last pack of smokes until we get paid. Couldn't even afford a case of coke, so I'll be heavily medicating myself to get through caffeine withdrawal headaches. >.> At least I have gatorade and some V8 fusion juice, and I had juuuust enough money yesterday to get diapers and enough whole milk to last him. Yes, when it comes down to it I will sacrifice for my child. Lol. Woe is me!

I could do with less coke anyhow, I haven't even been liking it all that much lately. And smoking is WAY better when you do less of it. Each one is more enjoyable when you've been putting it off for hours, playing the "I'll smoke after X, no after Y, no after Z!" until you finally give in and AHHHHHHHHHH. So much better. And hey, healthier. I truly don't like smoking. Honest.

Oh! Pictures! I've been taking them again, go me! Ray and I have been to two neighborhood parks in the last few days, the latest one being far superior to the first. I've been bemoaning the lack of kid things to do in the area given the weather around here. It's hard for me to get motivated to go anywhere in the morning (read first few paragraphs of this post for why!) and then Ray naps. By the time he wakes, it's like 98/feels like 103 outside. NOT good weather for baby playing outdoors. Then late afternoon hits, and it starts to cool off, WHOAMG BUGS. The mosquitoes here are insane, most nights the bug spray truck does our street twice. >< Gross!

But this park is nice, leads right down to the water, has a great breeze, and actually wasn't too buggy until about 7, just as we left. I also got some Off! towelettes for spreading the bug repellant love on us. They seemed to work great!

So yeah, pictures. On my picasa. Most recent albums are all labeled September something or other, I'm sure you smarties can figure it out!

Crisis Averted, I suppose.

So SHE called me while I was at the laundromat wednesday. (Joy upon joy, I assure you.) Told me she wasn't letting me out of the lease, and of course tried to make it my own fault. Blathered on about how the house was too messy to show it, and too messy to assess damages. I said uh, hello? I would move before we do a walkthrough. (DUH.) And I was ready to basically end the lease within two days, and be out and everything. So basically, she had no intention of letting us go in the first place. I asked her, during that phone call, why she had kept asking me to leave then. She then reminded me when she expected the rent and hung up.

Bitch.

So now? Everything in writing, with pictures, before and after repairs, and no more hand-delivered rent checks. The gloves are off, and I'll still be taking my lease to a lawyer to peruse for loopholes. (Sidenote, that's the correct use of "peruse", which really means to look through something deeply, not skim!) Next time it happens we will MAKE a way out of this place, if we have to tunnel out of here.

Roaches are still around, but seem better. Pest guy checked the rat bait yesterday, and no sign of any funny business. He was really nice, too, a little older, and Ray loved him. Actually ran up to him, arms up to be held. He doesn't really do that with other folks, but if this kid doesn't have Anthonys and my intuition with people then I'll be a monkeys uncle.

Ray has been up a ton the past few nights. Started off with a fever around the time we went to the laundromat (one of those annoying off/on afternoon/evening fevers, though it ran fairly high thursday, 102-103), and then up all friday night. That morning (just before his 1yr well-baby appt) he had a spotty red rash all over his belly and back. The dr said it might be measles, at first, then when I explained more about what had happened, decided it might be chicken pox.

And again, joy upon joy. So he's been cranky (for his temperament) and up again last night. The tummy rash hasn't changed but now there's this weird business on his thigh. No more fevers though, so maybe he'll be getting better soon.

Mmmmm, fried rice. Made up some fresh rice last night, sauteed some onions and eggs in and used the easy imitation-only-not-imitation crab meat. Found out it tastes MUCH better than the actual imitation crab from the same brand. All buttery and delicious. Yum.

Despite my kvetching (half the reason I haven't blogged much lately, it'd all be incessant bitching) we're not doing too terrible out here. My neighbor spoils me, and just mowed my front lawn after he did his. I really need to go buy them a thing of gas. Stupid lawn services are like $40 around here (and that's from a nice, cheap guy) just for mowing, and I apparently have recently developed a serious grass allergy. Last time I mowed it (in jeans and a tanktop) I broke out into a monster rash all over my arms, neck and shoulders. It looked (and felt) like poison ivy. Didn't have that problem when I was younger, mowed my share of lawns in my time, and never had this happen.

Thankfully, once Anthony is on this ship he won't be gone more than 2-3 weeks at a time so he'll be able to keep up with the mowing. Ignoring the 6 month cruise next year, of course. But by that time we'll probably be preparing for San Diego, or hey, maybe out of this dungheap! Woo!

Ahhhhhhhhhh....

Whew, good lord that took awhile. Ray has been back to the 'going down for the night, waking up every fifteen minutes 3-4 times before REALLY going down' thing for the last few nights. I think he's on the verge of another milestone...and I think this one may be verbal. He's been doing the "mamamamamama" more often, and usually when he seems to want me. Sometimes it's while he's whining, and hanging on my leg. I've heard that the "mamamama" sound is more angry/frustrated, and the "dadadada" babbling is happy, which I've seen evidence of. However, a few times today, when not upset, he would take off after me going "mamama". At one point this evening I was in the kitchen cooking, and he took off toward the back of the house looking for me after he heard me yell something to Anthony, going "mamamama!", but not upset. I said "in here honey!" and he came back to the kitchen gate to eyeball me. Cute!

But yeah, back to the "oy that took forever". I just spent a solid HOUR trying to put him to bed. Nursed him three times in that time. He was so restless, he would just lay there in my arms sucking his thumb and "singing", "MmmmmMMMmmmMMMmmmMmmmmMMMmm". To the point where he would actually fall asleep, thumb pop out of his mouth, still humming. Then the sound would wake him and he'd go back to sucking and more humming. Finally I put him in his bed, as he was mostly asleep but squirming to flip over, and he stayed. Whew! Maybe tomorrow he'll wake me up with a happy, "Mama!". :)

I've told Anthony time and again that with the next one we'll make sure he's more involved in the sleeping process. It's a little harder to work it in, with the breastfeeding, but what we should have done (I think) is make sure I pumped a bottle for him some nights and let daddy feed him to sleep. Not worth the trouble of doing it now, as Anthony will be gone in about a month, and we'll only see him once in the following five months. But on the next little one? For sure.

I see some folks enjoyed my last post, and I'm glad. I guess I'm at a place right now, in my process of "processing", where I'm taking more responsibility for the decisions I made, but at the same time I feel like the "system" really failed me, as it fails SO many women. Men, women, if you have a chance to see the Business of Being Born, please do so. It is so informative. It doesn't address all the current problems in our system concerning mothers, babies, and doctors, but it does bring up some of the biggest issues and for those that haven't read in depth about the current state of these things in our country, I think you may find it very enlightening. Whether you're done having kids, just starting, or don't plan on doing it ever. If you're male or female, show it to your daughters and your sons. Make them AWARE.

Things are moving along well here as far as our leaving is concerned. The car is in the shop, the movers come on the 10th to make our house truly empty and terribly boring for a week, and we're somewhat frantically trying to find a home for our lovely Claudia. Our flight is officially set, and we've purchased my plane tickets out to SC. On top of finding a house and getting the lease set up (and possibly getting our household goods delivered there before we leave) we hope to buy a car, which Anthony will drive out to San Diego as soon as we've left for SC.

In the home life, things are good. Ray is doing great, and truly getting more fun by the day. He loves to play, with us and on his own as well. He's a solid little guy, still pretty slim but heavy and STRONG. Gosh. It truly amazes me. Still not much hair but a mouth full of teeth. He's in love with cheerios or pretty much any finger food, and loves to eat eat eat.

I've received my birth doula manuals in the mail, and I'm slowly getting started. Not as quickly as I'd like but I've found some awesome blogs (listed on my sidebar) and I've been drinking in the info like a dying woman. Doulas, midwives, feminists, authors...so many interesting points of view. I love it.

Uggghhhh

Shoot me now. I'm bored. I'm tired. My ass hurts from these stupid chairs. It's 7am and I've been up since 3:30 with Ray. At 4am he apparently decided it was time to be up for the day. Well, that's not entirely true. I got him fast asleep three seperate times, and each time, even though he was limp and OUT, he woke the moment I laid him down and started shrieking.

*cries*

...LMAO. The cat is outside the back door (glass) and Ray saw her and took off that way. He crawled straight into the door, THUD. Lol. He normally knows it's there, plays in the blinds and stands up to look outside, I guess since it's still dark in here he didn't see. Heh.

Okay, back to crying. :'(

It's really just sad...

Reason #89798 that I will not be living in California, ever, if I can help it.

Homeschoolers' setback sends shockwaves through the state


'A California appeals court ruling clamping down on homeschooling by parents without teaching credentials sent shock waves across the state this week, leaving an estimated 166,000 children as possible truants and their parents at risk of prosecution.'

Not cool, yo.

'"A primary purpose of the educational system is to train school children in good citizenship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation as a means of protecting the public welfare," the judge wrote, quoting from a 1961 case on a similar issue.'

This statement is just all kinds of scary to me, gogo government propaganda and brainwashing. (Can you tell I'm trying reaaaally hard not to pull Godwin's Law here?) Because of course, no parent could actually teach their child at home and instill these qualities in their children. You know those homeschooled kids are such a rowdy bunch of anarchy-loving vagrants...

'Heimov said her organization's (Children's Law Center of Los Angeles) chief concern was not the quality of the children's education, but their "being in a place daily where they would be observed by people who had a duty to ensure their ongoing safety."'

Naturally this isn't the PARENTS job. They're not supposed to care about their childrens safety, only the government can do that! And really, at home or in a school, who needs an education? Poppycock! Just a form of daycare where you try and keep the kids from hurting themselves and killing each other. (I'd really like to see statistics on the amount of underage sex, drug selling/using, alcohol use and school shootings in "home schools". Probably off the charts! I bet they can't even read or do simple math, either.)

And here's the part I really don't get:

'The ruling arose from a child welfare dispute between the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services and Philip and Mary Long of Lynwood, who have been homeschooling their eight children. Mary Long is their teacher, but holds no teaching credential.

The parents said they also enrolled their children in Sunland Christian School, a private religious academy in Sylmar (Los Angeles County), which considers the Long children part of its independent study program and visits the home about four times a year.'

It goes on to talk about how a homeschooling parent in CA must be accredited, blah blah. Or the child must go to a school, public or private, full time. Otherwise CPS can haul off the kids and put the parents behind bars for 'educational neglect'.

Now I totally understand protecting children and doing everything in our power to ensure every child is given opportunities to learn. Truly. But to me, "educational neglect" implies a failing or laziness on the part of the parent. I'm sure, out there somewhere, someone has pulled their children out of all school and then gone on to NOT teach them anything at home. Someone must be crazy enough.

But really, if I had eight children, and I was feeling lazy and did NOT want to take the time (and didn't care) to ensure my children were getting a decent education, I think the very last thing I would do is pull them out of public school. Now, please don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that any or all public/private school parents are lazy by sending their children elsewhere to be educated. Not everyone feels the need/desire to teach their children at home, and many don't feel they can adequately do that job. Not to mention the impossibility of a stay at home spouse when two incomes are required.

But seriously, if I were operating on sheer laziness and lack of concern for the welfare of my child, I would be signing him up for public school (woo, free daycare!) TODAY. Imagine all the time I would have on my hands to sit on the couch, eat bon-bons and watch soaps. I could go shopping anytime during the day without having to worry about the hassle of feedings, naps, diapers or tantrums. Life would be a breeze. OR, I could even get a job so we could afford a bigger house, a nice new car, upgrade the computers, play more video games...I'm in!

Anyway, that article just really got my fire going. You know what the straw was that broke the camels back in my family and inspired my mother to deeply consider and eventually decide to homeschool? A tissue. Yep. I came home from school (in second grade at the time and bored out of my mind) and had an argument with her concerning how much a tissue should be used before it was thrown away. She found herself trying to undo something my teacher had taught me that had nothing to do with education, and questioned how much the school was raising and parenting me instead of my own parents. (Not to mention the implication that the school obviously thought they were doing a better job or had greater authority in my life.)

But I digress. My son has apparently forgotten how to go to sleep. He lays in my arms, shrieking, arching his back and acting like he's in mortal agony because I'm holding him. So I put him down, either on the floor or in his crib and THAT is just the END OF THE WORLD. So after a few moments I pick him up again only to receive the same treatment a minute or two later. I put him on the boob, he chills, pulls off before he's completely asleep, wakes himself up and starts it up AGAIN. Like two or three times before he's finally tired and feels he's shrieked sufficiently for the evening and nurses one last time to sleep. I need to look up whether or not this is another age for developmental sleep regression. I hope it's a phase, ugh!

Most of the day he was a doll, however. We've been leaving the baby gate down in the hallway and just shutting the bedroom/bathroom doors as needed. He got into the bathroom three times today. The first I caught him before any havoc was wrought. The second time he was happily splashing in the kitties water bowl. (A much needed bath ensued, where he splashed like a maniac for a good twenty minutes, but in CLEAN water.) The third time I found him sitting in front of the toilet with the entire roll of toilet paper arranged around him. *sigh* I also went out the back door briefly (there's only a knob on the inside, and no other way to latch it) and he decided to "lock" me out by using the door to stand up with. (Had to go around to the front!) Later this evening the front door was open, and it's his new favorite thing to close it. There's about a 7" space between the big door and the storm door with both closed. Well, I heard some thumping and thwumping about, and went to the front door only to find the cat had been shut in between. LOL.

An eventful day indeed! And alot of fun. Still enjoying my little computer, although we're having some trouble working out the kinks with the wireless network and seeing from one pc to the other. The combo modem/router that Telefonica gives out (rated the service provider in southern spain with the most coverage area and WORST customer service/tech support, and I can vouch for that first, second and third-hand) is seven years old, and has a built in firewall that just screws with everything and makes their already slow, shitty dsl all the more slower and shittier. Add a wireless router into the mix and we just can't get anything working as it should. UGH. I am SO effing done with this country. And to think we pay $160 a month for this BS. Christ.

picspam again omg

I was looking at some old pics.

After seeing my friends newborn 6lb boy the other day I have a whole new appreciation for my c-section. I mean, mentally I KNEW that Ray was big, I mean ten lbs? Good grief! But without a normal sized newborn to compare him to I really had no clue.

I believe under the right circumstances I may have been able to push him out vaginally, but looking at these pics again I'm not sure it would have been a good idea! I mean jesus, look at that barrel chest! That's even scarier than the head! LOL.

I blooped out his man bits.


At three months, chillaxin' at the library.

And six months, just before the superbowl.

Picspam!

Ladies and gentlemen, my hair is blue. Oh yes. I tried, once again, to get a decent family picture this afternoon. Now, I totally expect the Bug to be squirmy, blurry, and uncooperative. However, when I can't even get Anthony to make a decent face I get pretty peeved. His biological dad made sure to pass on the "I think I have a stupid smile so I won't do it for pictures" gene to him. Fucker. He has a GREAT smile but he refuses to do it with a camera around, so instead he makes silly faces or just stares blankly, or tries to do his smirk. The smirk is cute, but it REALLY for reals doesn't look good on film. ARGH! BOYS. GOSH.




I was also trying to get a shot of Bugs daily yoga practice, but of course he decided to do boring things like lay around on his belly once the camera was out. I did manage to capture this ninja "dodging-a-bullet-in-an-action-flick" pose. Please note the bonus "instant-death-blow-to-monkey" action!

Up and down again

What a day. I'm going the lazy route and doing this in pro/con bullets.

• Pro - Ray is getting speedy. He spent the whole day following me around the house. Into the hallway, the kitchen, it was soooo cute. He's getting so big! Lots of rocking on his knees but he's still just pulling himself with his arms to be mobile.
• Con - He spent the whole day following me around the house. Ate every hour or two (it seemed, I've long since stopped "watching the clock" as far as feedings) but didn't take a nap till late afternoon when Anthony came home from work.
• Pro - Apparently they're reinstating the SRB...which I believe stands for "Service Re-enlistment Bonus", just in time for us to go back to plan A. Re-enlist February 11th(date?) and get that big delicious chunk of cash to pay off our debt and such. Please God pleeeeease!
• Pro - Went to the exchange and got baby gates, new speakers for the back of the car, and a new sound card (since mine crapped out) for about $100. Woo!
• Con - Apparently my sound card wasn't the issue. The speakers are toast. Speakers = waaaaay more expensive to replace than a sound card. Still happy that I got a new one, the sound is a little more stable than it was with that Creative Audigy2 piece of horse-shit, but it's still fluctuating. ARGH.
• Con - Ray really wore me out today and Anthony promised that after our exchange trip (and a feeding) he would watch Ray so I could have some time to get the sound card put in. Well, he came down with a headache just as we got home. It's really more like a migraine when he gets them, he stays horizontal and inevitably throws up before going to sleep. I tried to nip it in the bud this time, gave him some Navy style Ibuprofen (giant horse tranquilizer dosage), a half glass of tasty V8 Fusion Tropical Orange to get his blood sugar up in case it was just hunger (those juices ROCK, they're actually veggies and fruit and low on sugar) and he laid on the floor with Ray while I made dinner. No luck. He ate a few bites, threw up for five minutes, and then went to bed.
  
• Con - Around the time he was heading to bed I got my own headache and Ray was a tired fussy mess the rest of the evening.
• Pro - Got Ray down before 11pm.
• Con - He may not stay down.
• Con - Anthony has watch 7-7 tomorrow. On my own again. Woopee.

I can't think of anymore. I have a wonderful tension headache and I should try to go to sleep I suppose. I want to watch Lost. Ugggghhh.