tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252226779375381982.post9006301700768337879..comments2015-05-17T02:36:40.693+02:00Comments on No More Limbo: For the sake of some clarityStassjahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04623711930452942817noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252226779375381982.post-50319148703452570602010-04-16T17:35:31.978+02:002010-04-16T17:35:31.978+02:00"Feelings are neither good nor bad, right nor..."Feelings are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong; feelings just are, they exist. You need not, and should not, judge yourself negatively just because you have or don't have a particular feeling.<br /><br />"Feelings don't last forever. No matter what you are feeling, eventually it will lift and another emotion will take its place.<br /><br />"When a strong feeling comes, you do not have to act on it. All you have to do is recognize it and feel it.<br /><br />"The process of getting at your feelings is important. Try not to block it with excessive self-judgment; save that for your behavior, not your feelings and thoughts. Your actions affect other people. How you feel and what you think is no one's business but your own."<br /><br />-from "I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors" by Aphrodite Matsakis<br /><br />Baby, you and I are on two different planets. But sometimes our planets seem to be really, really similar, don't they?<br /><br />Now that the horrendous holiday season is over and some time has passed, all of Sean's family seems to be expecting me to be "all better." So I lie and say I'm fine, because to do otherwise is to invite their obvious disappointment. And then they don't understand why I have to leave dinner at the fancy restaurant early because of a panic attack. The pressure to be "okay" when I'm still NOT is a big source of stress for me right now. More than just saying I'm ok, I have to ACT like it all the time. Really, I'd just like some understanding and acceptance. But that doesn't fit into the black-and-white dichotomy of "either you're totally okay or you're totally eff'd up." <br /><br />No idea what to do about it. Thought I'd share. Love you.dhdichdbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11608159433984728796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252226779375381982.post-87948663744910231102010-04-16T06:23:02.720+02:002010-04-16T06:23:02.720+02:00It's not so much guilt these days as just sorr...It's not so much guilt these days as just sorrow. It sucks and I'm a little bummed about it. But definitely not beating myself up, no worries.Stassjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04623711930452942817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252226779375381982.post-14407070851343873232010-04-16T06:04:47.591+02:002010-04-16T06:04:47.591+02:00While we have discussed it, and I told you that I ...While we have discussed it, and I told you that I didn't expect you to be "instantly healed" by Dori's birth, I may have had too much of an expectation of "moving on" from Ray's. I appreciate your excusing me from the criticism, but I'm afraid that I might be just as guilty. <br /><br />I know that you aren't dwelling on it, but I do have concerns that you will feel guilt over your overall bonding experience with Ray being short-changed by things that were out of your control. BUT BUT BUT BUT: You are absolutely right! They are your feelings to feel, and your emotions to sort through, and your journey to embark on. I am your friend and will support you REGARDLESS of how you choose to deal with your own demons, particularly if they are a different method than my own. <br /><br />Thank you, Stassja, for reminding me that we are not the same for all of our similarities and that no matter how well I know and love you and yours, I am not "experiencing" your situation with you no matter how much I feel like I am. Enjoy your journey! Handle it however YOU need to handle it. And by all means... Feel free to slap my hand out of the cookie jar next time it finds it's way in there!<br /><br />Live long and prosper, or some such.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08512937736987790797noreply@blogger.com